For graduation, I acquired a lovely book called 642 Things to Write About, which was compiled by the San Francisco Writers’ Grotto. As a direct result of this, I have now challenged my fellow Word Nerds to respond to each prompt as they are posted on a weekly basis. I will respond in the body of this post, while I ask everyone else to respond in the comments. This week, the prompt is the following:
A houseplant is dying. Tell it why it needs to live.
“Sheldon, come on, man, you can’t leave me like this. I know it’s hot in here, and I know…I know you’re tired. But, come on, Sheldon. You’re all I have, man. You can’t leave me.”
Sheldon drooped even further, if that was possible.
“Sheldon! You are the only reason for my existence. I have nothing. You get that? Nothing! I’ve got nothing but you, and you’re gonna quit on me? We’ve been through so much together!
“Remember, uh, remember that one time when I was a kid and I got that video game that mom said was too violent? She was so mad, but we, uh, we got through it together, Sheldon. And that one time, when I got beat up in 8th grade because I wore my Harry Potter invisibility cloak to school. You totally stood up for me, Sheldon. You saved my life, man. I can’t live without you.”
Sheldon drooped ’til his leaves touched the floor.
“Sheldon! You’re awesome! The world would lose so much if you weren’t here, Sheldon! I mean, you, you’re like, like, Chewbacca and Spock and Thor all at once!”
Sheldon shivered and tried to undroop himself. Just a little.
“Sheldon, you’re the only one who could help me actually finish World of Warcraft! I can’t do it without you!”
Sheldon shivered again and stood up straighter. He was paying attention now. Of course, both had long dreamed of that moment, but never had they actually had the courage to confess to one another that they really were striving towards that insurmountable goal.
“And when we finish it Sheldon, our glory will be written on the internet, so that, for all of eternity, people will praise our names.”
Sheldon shivered excitedly.
“Sheldon, when we finish it, girls will like us. Real girls, like Diana Prince and Xena. They’ll finally see that we’re worth something, Sheldon, and they’ll love us forever!”
Sheldon couldn’t talk. But if he could, he would have said, “Let’s go play World of Warcraft!!!”
It was understood anyway.